Together, We Are One

I never knew a love as strong as the love I had for Jacob. From the moment I met him, I believed he was someone special. Jacob was already working at Harris when I started. On my first day of orientation, I saw him as I was exiting the elevator and he was getting on. We looked at each other and smiled. Let me tell you but I’m sure y’all already know, that smile was gorgeous. After a few days of being on my own, he came up to me asking how I was liking it there. We talked through our whole lunch break and became good friends. We started helping each other on job tasks and would talk here and there about random things like the ice bucket challenge, tattoos, or family drama. My birthday came and a bunch of my coworkers got together to buy me a cupcake and a card that everyone signed. He was one of three people who surprised me with it. He signed the card saying “I wish you were mine” and that was the start of us. I didn’t have his number so I messaged him on Facebook saying “That was smooth” with his response being “Oh, you liked that huh?”. FB_IMG_1542095376816You sure bet I did! Yes, I got his number by the end of the day and we talked all night long. He started walking me to my car after work and we texted each other every day. Three hour phone calls where even the silences were not awkward. He had totally won me over.

One day after walking me to my car, he stood there talking to me for what was probably an hour. He was nervous, I could tell. When Jacob was nervous, he would talk in circles and most of the time he wouldn’t make sense. He finally got up the courage to ask me on a date for that following Saturday and of course I said yes. He continued to talk and asked if he could kiss me but still kept talking right after he asked. Again, he was super nervous so I interrupted his babbling with our first kiss. After, we both just smiled real big like little kids sharing candy. That Saturday came and we had our first date. We went to Buffalo Wilds Wings then bowling afterwards. I learned his weird eating habits (BBQ wings dipped in queso, ew) and that I’m a little better at bowling than he was. To me, he was the perfect gentleman and so much fun to be with. We went back out to our cars and we sat in the car for hours just talking. While there he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. I didn’t get home till around 2 a.m. that night, so I’d say it was an amazing night.

46472614_1633334726771838_4249440277590179840_nAbout two weeks later he stayed the night for the first time because we planned to go to the state fair early the next morning. We nearly lived an hour away from each other so it just made sense to us. Like little kids we built a fort that night and we stayed up late talking to one another about life and other random things. Jacob kept repeating “I strongly like you”. Of course my response was “Well, I strongly like you too”. He continued to talk as if he were nervous again. I asked if he was okay and he told me “This has never happened to me before but I love you already”. Y’all when I say my heart exploded with joy, I really mean it. I sure loved him too and I made sure he knew that.

A few months of spending every waking moment with each other influenced our decision of moving in together. By November we had signed a lease to move in with one another at the beginning of January. We were so excited. We saw no problem with how fast our relationship was going. At one point he said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if I asked you to marry me by the end of the year”. He had such a huge loving heart and I cherished every minute of being his.

The day after Thanksgiving was life changing. We had concerns that I may be pregnant so we bought two tests. We were at his place sitting on his bed eating Doritos and pickles. I said I was gonna go take a test so I walked to the bathroom took the test and saw two bold lines indicating we were right. We were gonna be having a baby together. I held back my emotions and went back to his room. He could tell by just the look on my face. I began to cry and his response was “Hold on, let me put my pickles down”… It made me laugh so I was doing this ugly laughing cry while he just held me tight and says “we will get through this together, we got this”. FB_IMG_1542095381695The day Braxton was born was the best day of our lives. I had never seen Jacob so happy. The look of pure love for this little boy showed how much joy Braxton brought to his heart. He was the most fun-loving father to his baby boy. They were twins. They were inseparable.

That was when this perfect relationship we had started spiraling. We had several complications throughout the four years we were together. But I can at least say we tried our hardest to make it good for our child. He was my best friend. Even through the roughest points, we still managed to have this friendship that was unbreakable. He was truly the love of my life. He always said that Braxton and I would always come first and he proved that time and time again. We had a lot of arguments leading up to his death. Things were going great for us. He took six days off of work and spent every day doing stuff with Braxton and I. We went bowling, to Chuck E. Cheese, build a bear, the zoo, and even spent Halloween together at my dads house.20181014_114818 Jacob went with me to get my tattoos and held my hand the entire time. I really thought nothing of it because he said he had to use his vacation days by the end of the year. The following week on Wednesday night we had dinner as a family and he decided he was gonna go out. That’s when things got rough for us. He went out with people which is not usual for him. He was always a homebody that didn’t like that scene. He went out again while I went to work that weekend and it caused us to clash even more.

Saturday morning he came and sat on the side of my bed and we talked for several hours. Things were starting to cool down between us but we ultimately decided that he would be moving out at the end of the month. As heartbreaking as that was, it was the best decision for Braxton. Later that day we got into another fight and I left for work. 20180805_113647He decided to go out again. And the next morning things blew up for us. I told him if things wouldn’t change then I wanted him out sooner. So, it was decided he would move out the following weekend. He apologized profusely. I did too. Things became calm for us again. No matter what we could never stay mad at each other for long. We ended up texting each other that night while I was at work, as if it never happened. I got home from work around one in the morning. My favorite part about coming home was always being able to see Braxton and Jacob sleeping in bed cuddling. I spent a lot of nights watching them sleep. But nothing would have been able to prepare me for what would happen later on that day.

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